Lately I've been having so many flashbacks

I missed how we'd do almost everything together, supermarketing, choosing sausages(haha wtf), deciding on which caviar for my egg n bacon cup thingy for breakfast, driving in the car, u being super annoying n singing a different song, the little spot in genting where we kissed, u hugging me to sleep, forehead kisses, trying to match our clothes, when u can't decide what u wanna eat n I'll order one of ur option, how I wanna hug u in ur sleep so badly but I didn't have the courage in Penang, when u kissed me for the first time again when we got back together, when I told u I passed my interview over the phone first but u just gave me a "ok...", how I always wanted to let u meet all my friends n let them meet u but u didn't seem like u were ever interested, how I always wanted to go on dates with u but we always end up "hanging out" with everyone else, how we'd lie in bed n talk about ex boyfriends n ex crushes, when we hold hands to sleep, how I can never understand why can't u watch a bedtime movie with me just like my ex boyfriends, when I'm in ur sweater we're just cuddling, when we keep saying how much we missed each other over texts, when i wake up early with u, when we became normal n started having phone calls, breakfasts in bed by u will always be my favorite, when u go to bed late with me, I miss shopping for u, when u shampoo my hair for me, when I'm so tired I just want a tight long hug n u'll be there, when we hanged out for the first time n combed the whole of town in a day, sentosa :), when I hated u for leaving me the first time, ur empty promises n the promises u kept, when u walked out from me without thinking whenever u had other options, when people tell us how good we look together, when I lost my way n always try to find it back to u, when u lose ur way n decide that u might as well leave me, when u started calling me bi because I forced u to, u trying to remember my favorite bubble tea from different places, ur face when u're really happy, ur face when I didn't allow u to buy ur corona, ur face.. Just ur face. I'm trying so hard to not forget how u look like when u're standing in front of me.
It's been so long.
My memory doesn't feel real anymore.

There're so many good n bad things that happened to us. N I missed every single one of them.

I wished u knew how I'm feeling all these while.

I don't think I'll have the courage to show u this anytime soon.

Love u Bi..