Now I'm sane enough to let go of u and of us.

Earlier than I thought
I gave myself till the end of October to prepare for the worst
It's either the end or a happily ever after.

I'm ready now.
But I don't want an answer, yet.
Maybe a part of me is still holding on, hoping u'd change ur mind.
U used to be so predictable.
Did u change?
Did my confidence leave?
Or is my denial in the way?
Maybe I already know what's on your mind

I can't tell anymore.

I asked u to think of the good times we had.
But behind every happy picture.. There will be something unhappy.
Maybe those flooded ur mind.
Have we been wearing masks for too long?
But who could deny the very moment those smiles were captured.
We were happy, weren't we?
U were happy, weren't u?
I was.

Isn't it tiring to weigh pros and cons.
Did I make it so easy for u to see all things bad?

I met Audrey one night.
She asked how're u. How're we?
"Good :)"
Oh my psychotic level of denial n make believes. Lol
A million scenes gushed in that very second.
I still managed to smile.

Another part of me died.
AGAIN.

I told her in the end..
"we broke up.."
I think my heart weighed a million tons that moment.
"but I'm trying to get him back :D"
Oh my face was so hopeful. But i was in so much denial my heart didn't care if I was lying anymore.
I knew..
Somehow..
I can't.